


Hugs, tears and electricity

by ChaoticNachoKitten



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fainting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23393155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNachoKitten/pseuds/ChaoticNachoKitten
Summary: Why performing in a club while being sick is never a good idea. Biadore friendship with fluff, angst and hurt/comfort.
Relationships: Bianca Del Rio & Danny Noriega | Adore Delano
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Hugs, tears and electricity

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on artificialqueens. Please read the tags and don't read it if anything might trigger you. Please stay safe<3\. Feedback, positive or negative is always appreciated^-^

Adore checked her phone. She had actually slept through the whole day. It was three hours before the show would start. While it wasn’t unusual for her to sleep in, the whole day was a bit extreme, and yet she was still tired and felt off.

The gig wasn’t anything particularly fancy or really exciting even, just a local club hosting a singing/ lip sync competition. Most of the performers would be local queens as well, with the exception of her.

It had been rumored that the club was about to go bankrupt, so they decided to scrape up basically all of the money they had left to host the show and try to get one of the RuGirls to perform there. Since Adore knew the club, and some of the local queens, she had decided to accept to offer, even if the pay wasn't that great. At least it was convenient because she was currently staying in a hotel (sharing a room with Bianca because literally every room was booked, not that either of them minded) which happened to be basically next to the club.

Bianca and her hadn't been doing a lot of gigs in a while as they had both been busy with different projects, and Adore missed the feeling of being on stage, people cheering for her, the adrenaline kick, the casual making out with fans, and, of course, the occasional crowd surfing. 

Now, usually Adore would only need about an hour to get ready, depending on the occasion and how she was feeling but Bianca had insisted that they’d do the final costume fitting for her custom dress as soon as possible in case any kind of alteration had to be done. 

Adore sometimes wondered how Bianca and her were such amazing friends despite them being completely different, especially when it came to their drag.

While Adore could care less about what people thought of her and her gender bending, unique and sometimes completely spontaneous style of drag, or at least act like it, Bianca liked to have everything planned out and organized as soon as possible so nothing could possibly go wrong. In fact she was probably doing it right now, given the sounds on her side; Adore didn’t bother to check though, in fact she didn’t want to move at all as she still felt exhausted for some reason despite having slept through the whole day.

Why would someone plan their whole drag a day before the show would even start on their day off? Adore just shook her head fondly and closed her eyes, just for a minute, to regain some energy. It wasn’t any use though as she was woken up by the older queen what seemed like only seconds later. Right. The dress. That got her excited enough to get up, although not without difficulty.

"Oh my god, it's stunning.” Adore was gagging over the dress. It even exceeded her expectations. It wasn't just any dress. It was the most perfect custom dress made by Bianca specifically for her, which made it even better. Bianca let Adore enjoy the moment and proceeded to search for the very corset Adore had 'borrowed' from her among a few other things. 

Bianca had never been able to quite bring herself to be mad at the younger queen though, it was just a corset after all, she herself had given it to the younger queen. If anything it mostly amused her because Adore seemed to be attached to it for some odd reason. 

Said queen was still staring at the dress, gently touching the beautiful fabric. A lot of work had gone into it, some parts had to be made completely from scratch, and of course, the sewing hadn't been that easy either, given the materials. The fact that the dress had been designed and created specifically for Adore made it about ten times more complicated as well.

First of all, it needed to give her the ability to move as freely as possible on stage. Adore was known for her energetic life performances and occasional crowd surfing. On top of that, it still needed to be absolutely gorgeous while not looking super polished. Someone who calls themselves polish remover should probably not be forced into a long, glamorous gown ; it just wouldn't be authentic Adore anymore. 

Taking all of that into consideration, Bianca had created a turquoise, off the shoulder sequin mini dress, mermaid themed of course, so Adore could still be her true self. It was decorated with small pieces of corals on the neckline (no sharp ones though, Adore is very clumsy and would probably hurt herself with them or with a long gown) and tiny little fish ornaments around the waist, arranged like a belt (just for fun and the irony). Bianca had even been thoughtful enough to create the dress in a way that the seams could be let out, just in case. It was also perfect for the upcoming evening as it would look absolutely stunning in the spotlight while not being a pain to lip sync in.

Adore was still admiring the dress when Bianca came back with the corset. Only then did she notice that something was off about Adore. Her face was really pale, except her cheeks, which were flushed pink. Kind of adorable (pun not intended), but really worrying at the same time. So maybe that’s why it had been impossible to wake her up.

Adore went to grab the corset in order to put it on, but Bianca just shook her head. Adore started giggling (which quickly turned into a cough, she really needed to quit smoking).  
"At this point I can do it all by myself B. I’m like, an expert now, a real drag queen.” 

Still, she removed her shirt (Bianca merch), moved closer to the older queen, and turned around.   
"Oh shut up", Bianca muttered, no bite in her voice though, a smile tugging on her lips even. Adore was very special to her, and this was one of her ways to express it.  
She noticed a few bruises on Adore's back. Nothing serious, but she'd quickly check on them, just to make sure putting on the corset wouldn't be any more uncomfortable than usual for the younger queen. Bianca let her fingers gently trace over the bruises. Her worry grew as she felt the heat basically radiating off of Adore. 

"Does that hurt?" She managed to keep her voice as neutral and casual sounding as possible. She knew from experience that Adore would probably not admit anything, at least for now. The younger queen simply hated being sick or feeling weak, not being able to perform, and disappointing her fans.

"Uhm not really, no. Why?" Adore was slightly confused. While her body was hurting all over, especially her muscles from the fever, she had tried not to make it super obvious, and it wasn't like Bianca was making it worse. "You've got a couple of bruises. Do you think the corset will be alright?"

"Yeah, sure." Bianca couldn't see Adore's smile. Bianca was seriously worried about a bit of bruising. Those were the kind of moments that proved that people who said Bianca was cold and bitter were just wrong as they either completely ignored her kind actions or just didn't want see them. Though it wasn't like their opinion meant anything anyway. 

With skilled fingers, Bianca went ahead and laced her in, noticing that it was easier to put it on compared to the last times, but then shrugged it off. The material of the corset was probably stretched out or something. At least that's what Bianca told herself to keep calm, although the worry kept growing in her chest, almost suffocating her. She forced a smile on her face, which was fairly easy for her after all those years of performing.   
"Alright, all done. Let's get you in that dress." Adore nodded excitedly, and tried on her gorgeous new dress while concentrating hard on keeping her balance. Bianca zipped it up, noticing in horror that it was too loose. 

She furrowed her brows in confusion. She'd been making dresses for years now, so the measurements simply could not be wrong, especially since they had been taken pretty recently. That meant Adore had managed to drop an alarming amount of weight in a really short time. Bianca could have slapped herself in that moment, for not noticing sooner. The amount of worry was almost unbearable now, blocking her airways. She tried to ignore the feeling and act rational. As much as she didn't want to make Adore to feel uncomfortable, she had to find out what was wrong with her baby. Bianca took a deep breath, forming the words in her head.

"B?", Adore asked in a confused and slightly worried tone. "Are you okay? You literally haven't said anything for minutes now, you’re freaking me out." Bianca stepped in front of the younger queen, and gestured to the bed. "Sit down, I need to talk to you."  
The words came out the wrong way, Adore looked terrified and started shivering in fear. Her somewhat foggy and feverish brain was trying to find out what she had done wrong and making everything dramatic. Adore just hated disappointing or upsetting people she loved. Realizing her mistake, Bianca quickly hugged Adore, and sat her down on the bed, gently assuring her it wasn't anything too bad. Technically a lie, but Bianca was able to hide her worrying. 

"Adore. As you might have noticed, your dress obviously doesn't fit. Which is weird, because I took your measurements just a short while ago. Something is wrong, and I would like to help you, okay baby?" 

Adore started shivering even more, a voice in her head telling her to not say anything. She fought it with all of her strength.  
"I- I'm sorry." A sob escaped her "You worked so hard on it and I- I can't do anything right!" Okay this was going in the false direction. 

"Baby, I don't care about having to change something about the dress, I care about you. It is neither normal nor healthy to lose that weight that fast. Please talk to me, Adore." Adore just didn't feel ready to talk, so instead she tried to respond as maturely as possible. 

"Please..can we talk after the show? I promise I will tell you everything, but I need some time to prepare myself." Bianca agreed. 

"Alright baby, but please promise me to take care of yourself up there. So nothing too exhausting and if you don't feel well, cancel. Your health is the most important thing." Some tears escaped Adore's eyes. She felt loved.

“I promise I feel good enough to perform. Thank you, B." She pulled Bianca in a tight hug.   
They stayed like this for a while, holding each other and feeling like everything would work out. Whatever obstacle the younger queen was facing at the moment, they would manage to fix it. Bianca pressed a kiss to Adore's forehead, frowning when she felt the heat once again, maybe even stronger than before. She let go of Adore, knowing they still needed to get her in drag. Adore's smile was precious, and Bianca couldn't help but kiss her once more, this time on the cheek. 

"I'm going to do my makeup now", Adore announced, beginning to get up to go to the bathroom, where her makeup was stored. She would usually do it at the club, right before the gig, but she knew that the dressing rooms sucked in that particular club. Bianca quickly grabbed her shoulder to prevent Adore from leaving.

"Let me do it for you." Adore shook her head. 

"Seriously B, you've done more than enough for me already. You're supposed to relax today." Bianca merely sighed.   
"Show me your hands then." Confused, the younger queen stretched out her arms a bit, to take a look at her hands. They were trembling, and not in a normal way. 

"Oh." 

"Exactly. I'm doing your makeup, and that's the end of it. Unless you actually want to be a responsible adult and cancel."  
Adore shook her head again. Bianca sighed, and got up to get everything she needed. Adore waited patiently, while getting mildly amused by the cursing about her stuff being messy and all over the place. Bianca came back, not even bothering to say anything. She just gave Adore her 'Really queen?' stare. At this point, she had already accepted that this was just the way the younger queen was, and nothing could change that. And, honestly, given Adore's style of drag, being organized and clean would just be plain weird.

“Wait, are those my brushes? Why are they clean?”

“Well someone just had to clean them bitch, they were literal health hazards. I don’t even know how you can even still use them.”

Adore simply shrugged. What even is the point of cleaning brushes if you’re going to use them over and over again?

"Okay, close your eyes." Adore was confused. 

Why in the hell would Bianca want to start with the eyes? She complied though, not questioning it. Somehow she felt like her energy had drained all at once. Bianca witnessed the sudden change immediately; it did absolutely nothing to calm her nerves. To not raise any more suspicion of Adore, she half-heartedly applied some eye primer , well knowing that Adore usually didn't even bother to use it. "Okay, now open your mouth." At this point Adore was concerned. What the hell was Bianca on and what was she doing to her face? 

She opened her mouth to ask the older queen what was going on, but before she could even say anything, a cold, metal-like tasting object had been pushed in her mouth.  
Damn. That had been one fast move of the older queen. Bianca gave Adore one stern look that basically told her to better keep her mouth closed, or the consequences wouldn't be pretty. Adore pouted, but kept the thermometer under her tongue. Bianca’s look softened once the thermometer beeped. The somewhat relaxed face was quickly replaced with another concerned frown, the older queen was seemingly dissatisfied with the numbers on the small device.

“Do you like, always travel with medical equipment?” A sigh followed.

“Don’t even try to change the subject now, because this is not looking good. See, your temperature’s 101. I'll get you something for it." Adore shook her head with a slight frown. 

"I can't. You know how tired I get after taking that stuff. Besides I'm feeling alright, no need to worry." She smiled sweetly.   
Yeah, right. Last time Adore had told Bianca not to worry, Bianca found her passed out and bleeding on the street after leaving a club with a guy the older queen had warned Adore about. Ever since then, Bianca had promised herself she wouldn't let anything like that ever happen again, even if that meant a pouting queen for a while. So needless to say, Bianca was just not convinced it would be any good for Adore to perform sick without any energy due to the lack of proper nutrition and possibly drunk on top of everything. But then again, the younger queen was an adult and could make her own (terrible) decisions. 

"I'll come with you.”

"B, you really don't know what relaxing means, do you?"  
"Oh yeah, 'cause knowing you'll probably collapse on stage is very relaxing, isn't it?" Bianca proceeded to roll her eyes.

"C'mon, it's just a small gig, I'll be fine."   
To at least kind of calm the older queen, Adore quickly added "If you still want to talk about the..uhm..dress thing, we'll do it after the show. Promise, just please, take care of yourself for once." Cue puppy eyes, that unfortunately never really worked on the older queen.   
Bianca raised an eyebrow at that.

"You're telling me to take care of myself? This is simply ridiculous. And I, in fact, insist that we're going to talk about the ‘dress’ thing. So, let's just get you ready, all right?" 

Making jokes seemed wrong right now, her ‘rolodex of hate’ stayed completely silent, so changing the topic would have to do the job of lighting up the mood. "What did you have in mind for today?" Adore kind of tilted her head sideways, trying really hard to remember what she had originally wanted to do. Her face was burning up and her head was a fuzzy mess. 

"Uhm how about a kind of mermaid inspired design? I mean not that I would need makeup to look like that, so it's really just working with what I already got." She grinned slightly, which was nice to see. Maybe she would survive the gig after all. Bianca smiled, nodded and then went all professional. 

She wanted Adore's makeup to be perfect, which, given her experience and Adore’s flawless face, wouldn’t be that hard. She was so skilled and experienced she could actually let her thoughts drift off while still doing a perfect job.   
Bianca thought about Adore and her obvious problem. Of course, she already expected her to say the most obvious, but maybe, just maybe, it wasn't anything that bad. Although Adore saying she needed time before talking about it didn’t sound like it was just a small thing, hope dies last. 

Once she was done with the makeup, she convinced Adore to go to the club with her, saying she needed a couple of drinks, but in reality she didn't feel good about letting Adore leave alone. Not even the amount of makeup could hide that something wasn't exactly right. 

Since the younger queen could basically hear Bianca overthinking everything, she quickly got up to leave the hotel room. It didn't exactly work out as some black spots clouded her vision, and she could only prevent herself from collapsing with all of her strength while holding onto whatever furniture was next to her. 

Thankfully the sensation only lasted a couple of seconds, and she was able to reach the door without any further issues. She was excited for the show, the adrenaline was already kicking in, preventing her from feeling any worse. She was about to turn the doorknob when she felt a hand on her wrist gently but firmly pulling her back. 

"Bitch, you're going to wear a jacket. And no, not that leather thing, don’t look at me like that. Can't have you freeze to death on top of everything else." 

"Ugh, fine, mom." Bianca just rolled her eyes, and handed Adore said jacket. 

It really was a cold night, nicely paired with the kind of wind that managed to make everyone feel cold, no matter the clothes. It made both of them shiver. The atmosphere between Bianca and Adore was a bit tense, simply because Bianca was obviously worried, so Adore tried to lighten the mood a bit.

“Look, there’s a shooting star!”, she exclaimed while pointing at the sky. Shit, she really is delirious. “Adore, that’s not a shooting star, it’s a just an airplane.”

“I know. I was just joking..?” Bianca wasn’t convinced whatsoever. The rest of their walk to the club was mostly silent apart from the younger queen coughing a couple of times. Bianca wanted to drag her back to the hotel, but knew that Adore would rather collapse on stage than cancel, just like almost every serious, professional drag performer.

They arrived at the club at the time Adore was supposed to, as to avoid a crowd of drunk fans expecting to meet her before the show. 

Usually Adore liked meeting her fans, but not in her current state and definitely not in front of a club. The location offered no security whatsoever, and, unlike in a meet and greet, there would always be disappointed people who weren’t noticed, and hateful posts the day after. 

On top of that it was starting to rain, and the younger queen had to shield her face with her arms to protect her paint. While she usually didn’t care about her makeup getting smudged, Bianca’s gorgeous artwork could not be destroyed under any circumstances.

So, needless to say, Adore was more than happy to not having to deal with people wanting to talk to her for an hour and take tons of selfies all while standing outside in the cold rain.  
The club was in worse condition than expected. Some of the illuminated letters were only occasional lighting up, one didn't work at anymore. 

"Party!" One of the staff members seemed to hear that and immediately recognized them. He made his way over to the two queens, politely thanking them for coming, and then quickly showing them the backstage entrance. 

Technically Bianca wasn't allowed in that area because she wasn't performing, but in reality she was Bianca del Rio and the staff member could probably tell that something was wrong. In order to let them get ready, he just asked them if they needed anything. 

When Adore declined, he excused himself. One of the local queens (barely 21, smudged makeup and nervous as hell) presented Adore the list so she could in which order everyone would perform. Apparently no one wanted to do the opening, so she Adore put her name on it (which made Bianca roll her eyes once more. The younger queen would probably drain all of her remaining energy just for the opening speech.)

She was assigned to do the second lip sync and was third for the life singing. Not bad. She thanked the queen, and then worked on a rough outline of what she wanted to say. A few moments after the local queen had left, a loud, excited squeal could be heard outside, which made Adore chuckle slightly. Afterwards she got back to her opening speech.

Adore had never been one to plan out everything perfect, as it was too stiff and polished in her opinion. The job was easy as well. Just get the crowd excited, which would be a piece of cake. After all, she just had to yell 'Pizza' and 'Party' to make her fans go wild. Or, not even that, all she had to do was going on stage. Or referring to something iconic said on Drag Race. It was one of the perks of being well known and of course loved in the scene.

A bit of time passed, and she still hadn’t received any kind of information when exactly she should be on stage, usually some staff member would knock on her door and let her know. So when she heard the know she assumed it was time, so she quickly checked her makeup, fixed her dress and opened the door. The local queen from earlier was standing there, still looking very nervous, but also somewhat scared.  
“I'm really sorry”, she started, voice trembling, pulling on the sleeves on her dress nervously.

“Apparently the club is having some technical difficulties that need to be fixed. It’s honestly like every damn time. Again I’m really sorry, someone will inform you when they’ve fixed everything. It usually doesn’t take that long.”

What kind of club even is this? Adore was getting slightly annoyed, but forced herself to smile. “Alright, thanks for telling me. Oh, and there’s no need to apologize. It’s not your fault.”  
As soon as the girl had left again, Adore felt the need to cry. Why did she ever agree to do this? How long would this take? The built up adrenaline was leaving her body and she was getting so exhausted just by being awake. 

Bianca seemed to be able to read her mind, because before she knew it the younger queen was laying on a couch, probably the most expensive thing in this entire sad excuse for a club, head resting it the older queen’s lap, who tried to comfort her by gently stroking her head without messing up the long red wig, and telling her over and over again that everything would be okay.

At this point Bianca couldn’t even tell if it was her who in fact needed to hear those things. That sight and knowing there was nothing she could really do right now to help the younger queen hurt her heart. Adore closed her eyes, clearly trying to get some energy back, which likely wouldn’t be very effective though. What she really needed were food, medicine and plenty of rest. And somebody to take care of her, because Adore was terrible at taking care of herself when she was sick. 

Around twenty minutes later, someone knocked on the door again, waking up the younger queen, this time an actual staff member, telling Adore she was supposed to go on stage in five minutes, and giving her two ear pieces, like every normal club would. He immediately left after that, to give Adore time to get ready.

As soon as he had left, Bianca looked at the younger queen with a dead serious expression.   
“I can’t believe you’re actually risking your health like that.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t done the exact same thing before.” Bianca couldn’t really argue with that, and just pulled Adore into a hug.

“Please don’t die up there, people are going to assume it was me.” Adore lightly chuckled.  
“I won’t. I have to go now though.”

Squeezing the older queen tightly one last time, she put on her best confident face and walk, and headed to the stage. On the outside, she probably looked fine thanks to Bianca’s makeup skills, but her head was pounding, the ear pieces felt uncomfortable and the black dots clouding her vision just wouldn’t go away.

On top of that she just seemed not to be able to stop shivering to the point where her legs were ready to give out one time. Thankfully she made it to the stage without fainting. The first part would be really easy: greeting the fans.

"Hi everyone, thanks for coming tonight! I'll keep this short so we can go straight into the good stuff." And done. As predicted, the crowd was already going crazy by just seeing her. The fans were in fact cheering so loudly she had to scream to be heard, even with the microphone, which, to be honest, kind of sucked quality wise.

"Are you ready? Let's get sickening! Party!" The last word had been a little too much for her already sore throat, and she really had to fight the urge to cough.  
"Those are the amazing queens that will perform tonight."  
She listed everyone, trying to keep it both brief and entertaining.

Afterwards, she quickly (or as quickly as she could manage) left the stage to make room for the first queen. She also needed to prepare herself for the upcoming lip sync, as she would be the second one.

The competition was designed to be pretty fair, so she would only know which song she would perform on stage. Only one minute left. Bianca for some reason was nowhere in sight, so she just quickly looked in the mirror, deciding she looked fucking cool, and then made her way back to the stage. 

A staff member handed her a jar with contained folded pieces of paper. She had to pick one randomly, and the chosen paper would reveal what song she’d be performing. Everyone of the performing queens would have to do that as well. It was made like that so every contestant had fair chances of winning.  
Adore opened the jar and tried to get out its contents in a somewhat sexual way, making the crowd scream once again. She opened the paper and read the word printed on it. 

'Vibeology'. Creativity apparently wasn't their strongest suit, but on the bright side, she would really slay this lip sync. As soon as she started to relax a bit though, her body took that as a sign that it was okay to make her feel worse. The burning of her cheeks was almost unbearable, and the costume was too hot and she just wanted it off. Why did she ever agree to do this?

The crowd was kind of confused because Adore was just staring at the paper, not saying anything after acting so excited just minutes ago. The staff started playing the music anyway. Adore's ear pieces were adjusted way too loudly, it was almost hurting her ears, definitely not helping with her already present headache. Still, she forced a grin, and started dancing, acting as unique and playful as ever, doing the cross eye, jumping around, even doing a split. 

The adrenaline was pumping through her entire body, giving her the strength she needed. This was why she loved performing. Feeling the energy of the crowd always gave her one of the best highs she had ever experienced. The feeling was just so incredible.

She was so into the performance, she didn't even notice that the light was suddenly acting weird. If Adore had noticed it, she could have prevented what was about to happen. (The entire electricity was connected somehow, even her ear pieces were connected with the light). 

When she was about to jump into another split, the light suddenly went out completely, she felt the right ear piece heating up, and before she could do anything, the worst sound and an excruciating pain erupted from her ear, sending literal waves of pain down her entire body. The sound was like a mix of fireworks and a siren, the pain too terrible to describe it in words. Tears shot in her eyes and a scream escaped her lips as she felt her body fall to the floor, unable to move on her own, except her body was shaking in shock and pain, or even try to hide her pain. She was almost thankful when she felt the darkness wrapping her head, taking away a bit of the pain. Her eyelids fluttered shut..

(P. O. V. Bianca at the start of the lip sync.)

Bianca was already worried, and the song hadn't even started. Adore wasn't reacting to the note at all. No funny comment or literally anything (not that Bianca could see her face, she was watching through a camera backstage which was positioned on the back of the stage). She was blankly staring into space. The older queen had to stop herself from dragging Adore off stage with all her strength. When the lip sync started though, Adore went into her usual energetic, quirky self, in fact, you could barely tell she wasn't 100% alright. It honestly made Bianca wonder whether Adore did this a lot, or if she was just a good actress. 

Bianca was able to relax a tiny bit, seeing that Adore was doing somewhat okay, and she couldn't help but notice how pretty the younger queen was. The messy aesthetic just worked, and really added a lot to Adore's character. The only thing that really bothered her, was the fact that the dress still didn't fit her properly, even after trying to fix it in the rather short amount of time. This sight made her chest clench painfully once again. Of course, she would be able to fix it with some more time, but she’d obviously rather have Adore healthy again.

Suddenly the light started acting crazy, the spotlights going off at completely random times and places, which was definitely not what was supposed to happen. Adore didn't seem bothered by it though, in fact, it was almost like she didn't notice it at all.  
The younger queen was even getting ready to jump into a split, just as the lights went out entirely. The entire room fell silent, then Bianca could see blue sparks coming from somewhere, very possibly but hopefully not Adore. What followed was the most painful scream she had ever heard (and she had heard a lot of screaming and yelling), and a thud. The thought of what could have possibly happened made her feel sick to her stomach.

At this point, the people were totally freaking out. Bianca practically ran on stage, indeed finding an unconscious Adore. Thankfully the curtain had fallen and shielded the horrific sight from the crowd. Bianca didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if it had hit Adore. She still freaked out, but tried to force herself to act as responsible as possible in order to help the younger queen.

Trying to not worry the crowd, the staff members announced via megaphone that everyone needed to leave for now because of some technical difficulties, everything they had heard were just sound effects, everyone was safe and they would get their money back, stuff like that.

It gave Bianca the opportunity to quietly half drag half carry Adore off the stage as fast as possible. Thankfully she had remembered how to get back to the dressing room before the whole thing had happened, because it was pretty impossible to see anything, the only source of light were some LED floor spots.

It was a miracle that no one of the fans had noticed anything, well except for the scream, but the crowd was probably as shocked as she was. This club honestly sucked. The staff members managed to escort the disturbed people out with little problem, and then proceeded to work on the broken electricity.  
By the time Bianca and Adore had made it back to the dressing room, the light was thankfully working again, at least in that particular room, although it was still flickering, somehow making the mood of the room even more dramatic, and frankly, irritating. 

Bianca laid Adore on the only small sofa in the room. She was still unconscious. The first thing Bianca did was taking off the ear piece. It thankfully still was one piece, but it looked like something in it had exploded and electrocuted Adore in the process. Bianca cringed at the sheer thought of how painful that must have been. 

She gently started shaking the younger queen, trying to be completely and utterly careful. When that didn't work, she checked Adore's pulse. It was there, but weak. Not good at all. Her next attempt was putting cold water on the younger queen's face. This did the trick, Adore gasped and opened her eyes. Bianca had never been that thankful in her entire life.

Unsurprisingly though, Adore was still in a state of shock, and started crying uncontrollably, confused, not knowing where she was or what was happening, feeling absolutely terrified and hurting all over. Bianca kept her voice quiet and gentle. 

"Is it okay if I hug you?" Adore managed to give her a small nod. Usually when she was sad or hurt, touch seemed to really help the younger queen, this was the reason why Bianca had asked her this question first. Well, not one hundred percent because of that. In her vulnerable state Adore just needed to be protected right now, the older queen could absolutely not let happen anything else to her, or she’d never forgive herself. 

Bianca went on her knees and just held the younger queen, and telling her she was okay and everything would be alright, hoping to make her feel just a tiny bit better. Adore calmed down almost immediately, Bianca's presence never failed to make her feel safe. Especially her scent, and the way she held her were like magic to Adore. The crying calmed down to a manageable level rather quickly, possibly because Adore didn’t have any energy left anymore. Bianca slowly let go of her, because she really needed to check whether they needed to call an ambulance. Not wanting to break all of the contact though, she held Adore's hand instead.

"Okay baby, I need to ask you a couple of things", she said softly.  
"Afterwards we'll go home immediately, and we'll cuddle for the whole night, I promise", she quickly added, seeing that Adore's eyes went all glossy again  
.   
"Is that okay?" Adore weakly nodded again.   
"Okay, thank you baby. Do you hear everything I say?" A nod. 

"My ear hurts so bad though, and there’s like this.. ringing that won’t go away" , Adore admitted in the saddest, tiniest voice, wincing when another bolt of pain hit her.

Bianca gently wiped away the fresh tears with her thumb and placed a comforting kiss on Adore’s forehead. That sounded not too bad given the circumstances, Bianca would just bring Adore to a doctor tomorrow as she already knew how much Adore would hate going to a hospital, and she wasn't in any life threatening state, at least it didn’t currently seem like it.

Adore for some reason thought it would be a good idea to touch her ear, hissing when the pain was so intense it made her dizzy. Bianca quickly but gently pulled the younger’s hand away and told her not to do it again.   
"I'm so sorry baby. I promise you'll feel better soon. Anything else you want to tell me?" Adore had started crying quietly again. 

"I feel horrible B, please just get me out of here."

"Of course baby, can you-" Adore tried to push herself into a sitting position and failed. Her ear was ringing so painfully, causing her head spin and making her want to curl up and die. There was simply too much pain and not enough strength.  
"Okay no, you obviously can't. That’s okay, I'm just going to carry you outside, then we can call a cab." 

Adore wanted to protest, being absolutely sure that Bianca would collapse while trying to lift her. She knew how freaking heavy she was. Maybe if she tried again she could actually walk. She simply had to. Otherwise she'd crush the older queen with her weight. Damn, why couldn’t she just be skinny?

Bianca could practically hear Adore thinking, so she put on a jacket on the younger and gently picked up her bridal style. She was very surprised, in a bad way. Adore felt so light, delicate like a single touch could break her, and Bianca could feel the bones of her spine sticking out. They were absolutely going to talk about the sudden weight loss. And she needed to give Adore some medicine as soon as possible. 

She was practically burning up, wincing in pain and shivering like crazy, Bianca was reminded of those abandoned kittens in terrible states, sick and almost starved to death they would sometimes show in those animal shelter documentaries. The MEOW tattoo just added to that mental picture. 

The older queen used an exclusive exit to make sure no fans would see them, which was like the worst thing that could probably happen. For what seemed to be the first time this night, they were in luck and everyone seemed to be gone at this point, making everything a whole lot easier. There was a somewhat fancy button directly next to the club that would automatically call a cab to their exact location. Perhaps the only good thing the club had to offer.

Trying to push it was a real challenge, considering that she was carrying an adult person at the same time, but there was absolutely no way she would put that precious queen on the cold, dirty and wet from the continuous rain, ground. With a bit of adjustment she managed to press it. Now all she had to do was comfort Adore and try to keep her warm, at least dry from the freezing rain, which wasn’t all that easy as it seemed to only get stronger as time went by. Eventually it was pouring icy water. 

The shivering got worse by the second as well although Adore felt way too hot, her body radiating heat.  
Being in the cold for too long while already being sick was also less than ideal. Adore let out a soft pained sound. She was still really overwhelmed, trying to process everything that had happened. Bianca just held her closer. 

“Shh, I got you. Nothing is going to happen to you anymore baby, I promise.” The rain was really pouring now, the drops were huge and icy.

The cab thankfully arrived after only a couple of minutes of waiting, and the driver didn't even question anything, which Bianca was grateful for.

During the drive Adore and Bianca held hands, Bianca gently stroking Adore's, knowing she liked that. With her free hand, she gently moved the hair out of the younger queen's face to take another look at her. She seemed to look worse by the second, skin getting as white as snow, a bizarre contrast to her now completely smudged black eye makeup and her cheeks, which were almost glowing at this point.

The fact that Adore couldn't even hold up her head properly anymore was probably the most concerning thing. The older queen gently held Adore so she wouldn’t bang her head against the car window or something. Bianca swore to herself she would never let the younger queen perform ever again when she wasn't feeling 100%. Tonight had just proved how terrible and harmful Adore's choices were.

The cab arrived at the hotel. Bianca paid the driver, and tipped him before lifting Adore out of the car and carrying her inside the hotel. Thankfully it was so late that no one except the receptionist saw them, and she was clearly just not interested. She had probably seen worse. 

Thankfully their room wasn’t very far away, lowering the chances of any fans seeing them. 

When they had arrived in front of their room, Bianca unlocked the door, which thankfully worked with sliding in a card. Once they were in, she placed Adore on the bed, gently, making sure the younger queen wasn't wearing shoes anymore.

Adore was still shaking, letting out a tiny pained noise once again. Bianca was pretty much helpless at this point, not being sure what she should do. Getting the medication meant leaving Adore, and that was the last thing she wanted to do, but on the other hand, the younger queen really needed it as soon as possible. She gently started petting Adore's head, hoping it would comfort her just a tiny bit before gently telling her "I'm just going to get you something, I'll be back in just a few seconds.”

The saddest eyes in history and a whispered "Please don't leave me" followed. 

Bianca gently kissed Adore's overheated forehead and promised her once more she'd hurry up. Thankfully being as organized as she was, she had already put everything she needed in the bathroom and didn't have to search for it. Hopefully the stuff she had would be enough to help Adore. 

When she went back, she was met with the heartbreaking sight of a quietly crying mermaid curled up into a tiny ball. Bianca took the thermometer again. Then she just let her instincts take over. She wrapped her arms around the shaking ball of sadness and gently told her everything would be better soon. It took a couple of minutes before Adore had been ready to fully uncurl again as she was partly doing it because of physical pain, and as soon as she did, the thermometer was placed into her mouth again. 

"103.8. Shit. We gotta get this down immediately."   
Bianca was about to hand Adore the appropriate pill, when she realized that would be a mistake in her current state.  
"Oh fuck, I just remembered, that’s the kind you can't take on an empty stomach, and I don't have anything else right now. And there's no way I'm leaving you."

Adore was convinced that this day couldn't get any worse. She, in fact, did have a problem with eating that had been getting worse over the past couple of weeks, and she wasn't ready to give it up. Not when she was doing so good and her weight was finally going down. 

Long story short, she could cry again. Except she didn't have any energy and her stomach was cramping, probably from long suppressed hunger. She didn't care though. It didn’t matter anyway. Although she wanted nothing more than feel better and sleep, her mind didn’t allow her to simply agree.

“I ate today..earlier.” Her voice was barely a whisper. So much for trying to put up a fight.

“Adore, we literally spent the whole day together, which you spent entirely sleeping, so I would know that. I might be old, but I’m not that old yet.” Bianca rolled her eyes to disguise her worry.

Adore felt her chest tightening, a wave of feverish panic hit her.  
"I- I can't", she whispered. "Please don't make me." 

Adore quietly winced as another bolt of pain shot through her body. She felt her face burning while every other part of her body was freezing. Her muscles shook from pure exhaustion. Bianca was getting even more worried and tense.  
If Adore's temperature would rise any more, she'd have to bring her to hospital. And maybe they'd keep her there..no, that would and could not happen. Not on her watch. Adore would hate that. 

She gently took Adore's hand. "Look baby, I'm not going to make you, but you need to understand that if you’re neither going to eat nor take your medication, we'll have to go to the ER because that is literally life threatening and I can't see you suffer like this any longer. So please baby, just try to." Tears escaped Bianca's beautiful eyes despite desperately trying to fight them.

Adore felt so, so guilty. She didn't want to hurt Bianca, a person she loved dearly. She'd have to try to eat, for Bianca, even if it hurt. Adore nodded. 

"Alright. I'll do it."  
But then she just couldn't force herself to. In fact, she was getting so worked up, she started to panic. Her chest became tight and breathing properly was therefore nearly impossible. It was getting so hard her body went full on panic mode, and she started dry heaving. Bianca reacted very quickly, asking for permission to touch Adore in a calm, collected voice.

The last thing the younger queen needed was seeing how much it actually affected Bianca. When she was given the permission, she proceeded to open Adore's dress. She couldn't really take it off because of Adore's current state, but what she definitely had to get off was the cincher. Constricting the younger queen's airways it in fact had to come off immediately.

She was really surprised though, when Adore made a protesting sound. Bianca decided Adore's well being was the first priority, so she took off the cincher, already sensing what could be the issue. She still wanted to make sure the younger queen was alright.

"What's wrong baby?" Adore's head felt really weird and she couldn't quite form a coherent sentence.

"..hog body.." Adore tensed up once more and almost started hyperventilating. Not good, it would raise her temperature even more. 

"Fuck. Okay baby, deep breaths for me. Great job. Now hold it." Bianca counted to three. "Okay now exhale. Well done." 

She did this with the younger queen for a couple of minutes until Adore was almost fully there again. Bianca decided it was time to fully de drag the younger queen.

She started by taking off the wig, carefully setting it aside and gently pulling off the fake lashes before grabbing her fancy makeup wipes. The makeup came off immediately. Adore didn't say a word during the procedure, she was probably too exhausted. Getting off the dress was awkward because Bianca didn't think Adore could stand up long enough. She somehow got it off though, and then proceeded to put an oversized shirt on the younger queen.

She didn't want to give her anything warm as Adore was burning up already. Bianca tried to figure out what to say next as she didn't want to freak out Adore once more.

"Baby I'm sorry, but you have to eat something now." Her words were firm but gentle and caring at the same time. Adore just nodded, no energy left to fight in her. 

"Why do you care so much?" 

"Because I love you, you stupid bitch."

"Love you too, but there's something else."

"I'll tell you when you're eating, deal?"

Adore sighed softly. "Deal."

Bianca unwrapped a protein bar. She just hoped it would be enough so Adore could take her medicine. Also, she would not actually give the bar to Adore. People with eating disorders could be so damn sneaky. Or well, at least the younger queen had used some questionable methods to get out of eating.  
Adore was too tired to sit up, so she just put her head in Bianca's lap and closed her eyes. She just wanted this day to be fucking over.

"Open up, baby." Adore very reluctantly did as she was told. In her exhausted state, she couldn’t even bring herself to explain that she was, in fact, capable of eating on her own.

A small piece of a protein bar was put into her mouth. She tried to focus on anything else but the fact that she was eating, her mind screaming vile, disgusting things at her. Swallowing hurt as well as her throat was completely raw at this point, dry and irritated, and that combined with her body having run on empty for a while now almost made her gag. Adore winced and Bianca gently shushed her and made her drink some water.

"Tell me the other reason now, please. I need distraction.”

Bianca nodded.   
"Alright. I used to know a queen."

A faint smile tugged on her lips, remembering her fondly. Bianca used this opportunity to feed Adore some more of the bar.   
"One of the kindest people on earth, honestly.   
I'm talking like showing up hours before a gig, helping people drag and de drag, comforting others, giving them motivational speeches, you get the point.”

“Kind of like you.”

“Oh shut up.”

“Anyway, so, the weird thing was, her dresses never seemed to fit her for more than a couple of weeks, and she never went out to eat with us. It was seriously odd, but neither of us wanted to confront her about it. We were young and immature, so we probably thought her problem would go away if we didn't acknowledge it. Well it obviously didn't. One day she was acting strange, but she was such a brilliant liar, we all thought it wasn't anything serious." 

Another piece was put into the younger queen's mouth. Bianca absentmindedly stroked Adore's head.

"And then the day after she just didn't show up to the gig. We of course canceled it as we knew something wasn't alright at all. When we got inside her apartment, we found her there laying on the ground, unconscious. Her body had been eating at her heart which..well..killed her.”

A single tear made it's way down Bianca's cheek. She quickly fed Adore the last piece. Adore wanted to day something, but decided it wasn't the right timing, plus she had to fight her emotions as well. The story really hit close to home, and had actually scared her. Could that possibly happen to her as well..? 

"And that day I promised myself I can't let that happen to anyone else I care about. Not like this, and especially you. I love you so, so much and I can't lose you baby."

Adore was touched by those words and bubbly hot tears were running down her cheeks. She tried to sit up to hug Bianca but she didn't have enough strength to do so and just collapsed back. Bianca frowned. 

"Don't try to move on your own right now. Do you want to sit up?" Adore gave her a nod, and Bianca gently pulled the younger queen into a sitting position, putting some pillows behind her so Adore could lean against something. They shared a relatively short but comforting hug, which pretty much used the last bit of the younger queen’s energy, but it had absolutely been worth it.

"Okay, now you really need to take something." Adore simply opened her mouth and allowed the older queen to put the pills and some awful tasting liquid in her mouth, and help her drink some water. 

Adore was terribly exhausted, in pain and on top of that she now had to fight the negative voices telling her how terrible she had been for eating. The older queen immediately saw the change in the younger’s eyes. They were sparkling with tears but the color of them was darker and somehow dull as if their usual light had left them.

Bianca cupped Adore's face in her hands, being very careful about not touching her injured ear.

"Adore look at me. I'm really proud of you. I love you. Don't listen to whatever your head is telling you because it's lying. I promise you're not alone in this, I'll do everything I can to help you. I just want you to be okay." 

Although Adore could not really believe those words, they felt good. She smiled. It was a tiny, but genuine smile.

"Thank you B. For everything. I love you too. So much. Thank you for not giving up on me."

“I would never.” 

Adore's head dropped after her statement, a clear signal of her body needing rest. Bianca helped Adore lay down, making sure she was as comfortable as possible before switching off the light and laying down next to the younger queen, so they were facing each other. 

Bianca wrapped her arms around Adore who was still shivering. Usually touch helped the younger queen because it made her feel safe and made her feel like she was loved. Which she was of course. But the entire day had taken such a toll on her body and mind that some in her decided that feeling was suddenly overrated. 

She couldn't feel Bianca's touch. What was wrong with her? She let out a small panicked sound, completely overwhelmed with the entire situation. Bianca could feel Adore's heartbeat get faster. She had to calm her down in any way she could. The younger queen needed rest so badly. She quickly turned on the light again.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"I-I can't feel anything anymore. H-help me.”

Adore sounded broken. She started clawing at her arms, nails digging into her skin, leaving angry red marks, a desperate attempt to just feel something, anything.

To say that this freaked Bianca out was an understatement. She quickly tried to pull away Adore's hands to keep her from hurting herself. But, of course, luck didn’t seem to be on their side. The younger queen was in such a deep state of panic her muscles locked up, leaving her unable to move. This meant that she kept hurting her skin with her nails. At this point, even Bianca felt helpless, however, she was determined to help Adore, no matter what. Taking a few deep breaths, she calmed herself down enough to think somewhat rational.

Gently, she began to rub Adore’s hands, trying to get the muscles to relax again. While the younger queen could probably not feel this, maybe her body would still respond. After a while it seemed to have worked and the younger queen’s death grip loosened.

"Don't ever do that again, baby. You're too precious to hurt yourself. We'll figure it out, I promise, but self harm is never the solution.”

Bianca suddenly remembered that applying cold things, for example cool packs, were supposed to calm you down if you put them on the inside of your wrist. It would be worth a try. Or at the very least less damaging than straight up self harm. As a drag queen she always had some of them with her, because, let's face it, drag hurts. She explained her idea to Adore and then hurried up to get said items.

The ice and its freezing sensation seemed to help a bit. Adore still wasn't able to really feel anything, but that tiny glimpse she got from the ice was enough to calm her down. She didn't really understand why this was even happening to her and that was scary. 

But at the same time, knowing she didn't have to deal with all of it alone was really comforting. Bianca would be there for her at all times, just as she would be there for the older queen. They were so different, but their relationship just worked. The love they had for each other was something both of them would cherish forever, no matter what hardships they would have to face.

With that thought she finally was able to fall asleep in Bianca's embrace, just knowing she was safe, loved, protected and everything would be okay.


End file.
